When it all gets a bit PMessy!

sad girl

Most of the time I’m pretty consistent at thinking positively, but then there’s that dreaded week before my period arrives.

This week has been one of those weeks. I’ve been feeling exhausted and craving cuddles, chocolate and cozy pjs. I’ve been doing my best to push through as I had a variety of important commitments scheduled, but it has felt more challenging to see the positives surrounding me and everyone seems to be just a little bit more irritating than usual.

The most irritating person of all has been Helga! Who is Helga you may ask? Helga is the name of my ‘inner critic’. When things get PMessy you can guarantee that Helga will make an appearance. Helga tells me that I’m fat, Helga tells me that I’m ugly and Helga tells me that I’m not good enough. It feels like she’s not on my side.

I notice that one negative thought, can lead to another, and another. Like a set of dominoes that fall down one by one and my mood can become lower and lower. Now, Helga may seem tough but I know she’s just another part of me that needs attention, I make an effort to be more gentle with myself and I send her love. Taking time to look after myself and do nice things for myself helps but there is another tool I have developed that can silence the almighty Helga.

So what is this powerful tool?


Asking empowering questions interrupts that negative spiral, stopping those pesky dominoes in their tracks. When we ask ourselves a direct question this pushes the negative thoughts out and creates space.  Empowering questions change our mental focus, and therefore, can lift our mood.

Examples of questions that I find empowering are ‘what can I appreciate about this situation?’, ‘what can I learn from this?’, and ‘how can I love myself more right now?’. These questions work for me, but it’s important that you choose questions that help YOU to feel empowered.

Most of us struggle with negative thoughts to a greater or lesser extent, but most of us have also been taught that admitting this makes us ‘weak’ and ‘pathetic’ and so we hide behind a mask that says ‘I’m good thanks’.

I used to hide behind a mask because I was scared to expose my ‘flaws’. But now I choose to share through speaking from the heart and I am calling for others to join me. Why not share in the comments below some of your common negative thought patterns? Or maybe you could share if you have a name for your inner critic? Or perhaps you could tell us how you manage your mood changes at that time of the month?

Speaking from the heart can help transform the way we communicate. When we express more of ourselves we can truly connect. We can support each other and feel less alone. In doing so, we create compassionate communities that fully acknowledge our own common humanity.

Be the change you wish to see in the world.

Sending you love

Yours authentically

Clare x

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